Astrophysicist with attitude.
1. On the end of the world:
2. On measuring the length of blood vessels:
3. On intelligent life:
4. On alternative medicine:
5. On professional athletes:
6. On middle fingers:
If we had twelve fingers, there’d be no middle finger to flip at people with whom you’ve run out of words to communicate.
7. On The Los Angeles Angels:
Does it disturb anyone else that “The Los Angeles Angels” baseball team translates directly to “The The Angels Angels”?
8. On “toxins”:
The likelihood that a person uses the word “toxin” correlates strongly with how much Chemistry the person does *not* know
9. On Snoop Dogg:
If @RealJeffreyRoss and other comedians honored @SnoopDogg, would that be a “Pot Roast”?
10. On July 4th:
July 4 – Happy Birthday USA. Celebrating the day we declared Independence, and not the day we actually achieved it.
11. On “total eclipses”:
Total Eclipses occur every couple of years or so. If anyone calls them “rare”, ask if they feel that way about the Olympics.
12. On the state of television:
America 2012: The Learning Channel has HoneyBooBoo, History Channel has PawnStars: and the Science Channel has PumpkinChunkin
13. On the “Super Moon”:
Moon Lunacy strikes again: The impending Supermoon is to an average full Moon what a 16″ Pizza is to a 15″ Pizza. So chillax.
14. On hip-hop:
I’m quite sure that Frogs were into Hip-Hop long before the music industry was.
15. On soccer players:
I wonder what Rugby players think every time they see a Soccer player crying in pain from being grazed by another player.
16. On psychics:
A news headline you hardly ever see: “Psychic Wins the Lottery Again”
17. On Spanish sportscasters:
Good thing Spanish fÃºtbol sportscasters don’t announce basketball, they’d spend 1/3 of playing time saying “Goooooooooooool”
18. On plane cabins:
Flight Attendants say: “Cabin pressurized for your comfort & safety.” What they mean is: “otherwise you’d freeze & suffocate”
19. On “Miss Universe”:
Astrophysicists are monitors of extreme adjectives. Which is why “Miss Universe” to us is just “Miss Earth”.
20. On airport customs:
Had to wait in line to renew a Passport allowing me to visit members of my own species across artificially conceived borders.
21. On Olympic curling:
I occasionally wonder whether people who are good at Olympic Curling are also good at sweeping out the basement.
22. On Red Bull Stratos:
I’m told somebody’s jumping out of a perfectly good balloon from 23-miles up. The theory of gravity no longer needs to be tested in this way
23. And on his DJ name:
If I were ever to become a Hip-hop DJ,I think I’d choose the name “MC-squared”
Be honest, when was the last time you even thought about Ryan Cabrera?
1. Justin “Bobby” Brescia
Biggest claim to fame: Aside from being a prolific philosopher, he also happened to date Audrina on The Hills.
Where is he now? In 2013 Brescia opened a hair salon in Costa Mesa called Brush Your Hair Salon by Justin Bobby Brescia. It has since closed.
2. Cris Judd
Biggest claim to fame: Before Britney and KFed, the greatest pop star and back-up dancer love story belonged to Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd. The two met in late 2000 on the set of her music video for “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” and married after a brief one-month engagement. After nine months of marriage the two called it quits in 2002.
Where is he now? Judd, now 45, continues to dance and has since remarried.
3. Willa Ford
Where is she now? Since then Ford has had roles in a few small films and appeared as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars in 2006.
4. Ryan Cabrera
Biggest claim to fame: For his hit 2004 single “On the Way Down” (which peaked at No. 15 on the Billboard Hot 100), and for dating Ashlee Simpson.
Where is he now? Cabrera is still making music, he recently released a new EP — and he’s apparently tamed his hair too.
Biggest claim to fame: Having a few minor hits in the ’90s (with singles “Oh Carolina” and “Boombastic”) followed by a couple of huge hits in the early ’00s with singles “It Wasn’t Me” and “Angel” off his album Hot Shot.
Where is he now? Shaggy continues to perform and make music.
6. Frankie Delgado
Biggest claim to fame: Being Brody Jenner’s friend on The Hills.
Where is he now? Delgado is a currently a club promoter, and last year he welcomed his first child with his wife, Shopatrend co-founder Jennifer Acosta.
Biggest claim to fame: For his 2003 top-20 Billboard hit “Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back).”
Where is he now? In a recent interview, Eamon said he is currently finishing up work on his new album.
8. Brandon Davis
Biggest claim to fame: Dating Mischa Barton, being friends with Paris Hilton, and calling Lindsay Lohan a “fire crotch” on TMZ.
Where is he now? Davis has kept a lower profile over the last several years. Although last year he — along with his two brothers, Jason and Alexander — was sued over alleged fraudulent money transfers his mother Nancy made to him before filing for bankruptcy.
9. Lady Sovereign
Biggest claim to fame: For her 2006 single “Love Me or Hate Me.”
Where is she now? Lady Sovereign left her record label, Def Jam, after a dispute and released one more album independently, 2009’s Jigsaw.
10. Bobby Trendy
Biggest claim to fame: Being Anna Nicole Smith’s interior decorator on The Anna Nicole Smith Show.
11. Bam Margera
Biggest claim to fame: Co-starring on MTV’s Jackass (which he also co-created), as well as his own spin-off series Viva La Bam and Bam’s Unholy Union.
12. Ryan Starr
Biggest claim to fame: One of the early breakout stars during the first season of American Idol. Starr finished seventh during the competition.
Biggest claim to fame: Her Missy Elliott and Timbaland-produced 2002 debut single “Oops (Oh My).”
Where is she now? Tweet recently announced in an interview that she has a signed a new record deal and is re-teaming with Missy Elliott and Timbaland to work on it.
14. Shane West
Biggest claim to fame: Starring in A Walk to Remember, as well as starring roles on TV’s Once and Again and ER.
Where is he now? West is currently starring on the WGN America series Salem.
15. Sanjaya Malakar
Biggest claim to fame: Making tween-age girls everywhere* have emotional meltdowns every time he hit the stage to sing on the sixth season of American Idol.
Where is he now? In 2012, the Daily Beast tracked down Malakar, who was living in Queens, New York, and working as a bartender at an East Village bar. He stated that he had been taken advantage of financially by former managers and that he was working on his self-produced debut album.
*OK, so it was just one girl.