Everything has changed. Everything is different.
The last time Carly Rae Jepsen had a hit…
1. Anderson Cooper wasn’t gay yet.
2. Madonna hadn’t started wearing grills.
3. Lady Gaga was never voluntarily puked on.
4. And John Travolta wasn’t a permanent fixture of your nightmares.
6. Kidz Bop had not brought anal back.
IM CRYING BECAUSE IN THE KIDZ BOP VERSION OF ‘ALL ABOUT THAT BASS’ THEY SAY ‘I’M BRINGING ANAL BACK’ INSTEAD OF ‘BOOTY’ OH MYGOD
7. And potty training had an entirely different meaning.
#PottyTrainors unite, Meghan Trainor is about to come onstage at Jingle Ball!
9. Cher had 100 desks just lying around.
10. Selfie sticks were still allowed in South Korea.
12. Teens didn’t get stuck in drainage ditches trying to get their iPhones.
13. The lead singer of Puddle Of Mud had not been arrested for riding a baggage carousel.
14. Miley Cyrus looked like this:
17. Jon Gosselin had just DJ’d his first middle school prom.
18. Seth Rogen’s mom wasn’t on Twitter yet.